Normal

I have realized I hate the word normal when it comes to something that you are going through. As we go through life we have experiences, some of us experience things sooner then we should and other maybe later then they should. However none the less it's the journey of life. But when someone expresses concern, challenge, frustration, any manner of emotion we like to say "That's Normal".
But as we say it we push that person's emotion to the side as if it's no big deal. That we should accept emotion, trial, hardship in our life and try to move on.
But again why do we do that!? Why do we push our emotions and other people's emotions to the side. Is it fear, is it not wanting to feel uncomfortable, or is it we don't want to deal with the emotion that we are feeling at that state in life?
As a women I am told to be strong, to keep myself in check, and to not share my true self because of what people might think. But how damaging is that to a women? To someone who has emotional changes in her body and mind everyday.
As a new mom you hear that's normal, that's normal, that's normal. Sometimes it reassuring, but other times is frustrating. I know this is normal  because you have been there, but for the past 20 something years being a mother wasn't normal? Having a baby wasn't  normal? And why is it not ok for me to processes this, or to experience my emotional struggles. It doesn't mean I don't love my baby or I don't want to give her the best life possible, or that I love her any less. This isn't about her, this is about me, about how I feel and it's not Normal!

When we have mental struggles after becoming a new mom, we are told that its normal. But when we realize it's more then Baby Blues (a real condition after having a baby). We tell the mother, your overwhelmed, it's a baby, "it's normal". But again I have new hormones in my body, I have a baby attached to my breast all day, nothing about my body is normal or feels NORMAL. As I go through this new day to day life. I feel like it will never end, but it does I begin to sleep again and start to gain my path into motherhood. However as I find myself still struggling mentally I realize it's not NORMAL. I realize I probably need therapy to deal with my thoughts and emotions. But I hesitate, I don't want people to think I'm crazy or uncapable of taking care of my baby. I don't want people to see this struggle I'm having at this moment and that's all they remember! So I hide it, I play it off, I think it will pass. But it becomes more intrusive these thoughts, emotions, fears, and so on. Why did I need to suffer that why did I need to put myself through that in fear of what people might think? If people do think that shame on them! Surround yourself with people that actually care about you!

Now does that make me weak? Does that make me seem like an unfit mother? Does that make me any less spiritually strong?
NO by accepting and realizing something might not be right, you are being healthy you are realizing you can be better and do better. By sharing your struggles and accomplishments it makes you human, it makes you Brave, and it makes you help other women dealing with the same issues at the same time!

However if you do think differently of me, I hope it's in a greater way. I hope that you look around and realize your not a lone. Those sleepless night, late night feedings, never endless diaper changes, and all the things that come with motherhood is a journey.
This journey is about you and what type of mother you want to be, what type of women in society you want to be. So let's stop making excuses, beating around the Bush, telling every new mom that's Normal so get it together! You have the right to be a first time, second time, or even third time mom. Every step of life brings challenges, some to expect and some we don't.
So I'm going to say the word that freaks so many people out Mental Illness! It's serious and it's really!

Just now they are starting to study this specifcally to pregnancy and postpartom!
"researchers are currently studying the special problems of treatment for serious mental illness during pregnancy and the postpartum period.
The mental disorders affecting women include the following:
Anxiety Disorders, including OCD, panic, PTSD, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorders." And so many more!!
Mental illness will affect 1 in every 4th person. Sometime in their life!
About 10% to 15% of women are affected by Baby Blue, postpartum depression, and so on. It can come right after the baby or a year later. Symptoms can last a few weeks, months, or even years.
So why, why when we hear, mental illness, depression, anxiety, and so forth do we look the other way. Or think this will pass, you will figure it out! For some it might be true. For others it's not, as spouses and families we need to educate ourselves more on these new situations. Learn more about these conditions. We need to be able to encourage and uplift those around us!
For some this maybe Normal but for me it is not! I just want to live a more healthy life, free of limitation that hold me back from being the person, women and mother I want to be.
I hope as family, friends, follower, viewer you see that I'm human, I'm a damn good wife and mother and I love my daughter to the moon and back! But to do that I need to take care of myself whatever that means I need to do. I want to share with you my accomplishments but also hardships that shape me and help me to reach those accomplishments.
I have posted links below of some of the information I used in this post. Learn more about Postpartum Depression, and other research being done to help women all over the world adapt to being a mother.

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2005/December2005/docs/01features_02.htm

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/women-and-mental-health/index.shtml